What does success and failure mean to you?

What’s good about our technological world is that it connects us almost instantly and with relative ease to find inspiration and words of wisdom that can motivate us and give us the courage to keep going when times challenge us. 

Inbred in our human DNA is the instinct to survive.  In a world that's now highly competitive and stressful many of us need all the help we can get to keep going, to maintain positivity when the odds seem stacked against us.  We need to be reminded of our need to make renewed affirmations that we will succeed.  We will climb that mountain.  We will win the race.  We will be noticed, noted, recognised, emulated, adored.  We’ll live in the lap of luxury or if our aims aren’t so grand we’ll be able to pay those pesky bills (easily) and have some left over for the little luxuries we can afford.

What many of us don’t realise however is before we can succeed we have to determine our relationship with success.  By this I mean, do we really feel worthy of it?  Now that might seem like the strangest thing to ask when we’re hyping and punching the air with our positive “let’s go conquer the world statements”, but deep down some of us are scared. 

Now I realise this is relative and not in the true essence of the word and its meaning, but for the sake of this blog I refer to worldly success.  Worldly success shines a spotlight on us.  The spotlight makes us visible to ourselves and everyone connected to us (directly or indirectly).  Worldly success requires maintenance and this means constant focus and attention on the maintaining of our success.  Then comes the wretched anti.  The anti success which we all know as FAILURE.

Now failure is something many of us get.  We get it, because it often lurks in the shadows and depending on how good we get at affirming our positive success mantras and rejecting any possibility of failure its shadow can pounce if our mood is low or we’ve encountered the last straw, the rejection, the frustration, the brick wall!

We’re told don’t think of failure only success…success…success.  Failure must be rejected and abhorred because to even consider it would mean torment and pain; a worthless, unfulfilled life where we're subjected to watch only the few who shine brightly under the spotlight of worldly success.  The failures scrabble about in the darkness as they search relentlessly for that elusive light!  What we don't realise is that when we become so scared of failing, with the greatest will in the world we'll find ourselves drawn back to the wretched thought of it or exhausted by having to pretend it's not there.  

So what can we do?  

How's about looking at what we perceive to be failure, acknowledge that if it comes we're being given a new opportunity to diversify or explore another route, grab the opportunity that our perceived failure brings.

Do you want success?

All you have to do is:

Recognise that failure is the flip side of the success coin.

Recognise that success is relative to you and you alone and should not be dictated by others who often have their own game plan.

Recognise that you can shine under your spotlight of success if you have tried and done your best.

ACKNOWLEDGE that success as a human being is determined by the love you have for yourself and the love you share with others.

Here's to SUCCESS!

LB  xxx 

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If you want it create the space for it!

 

Are you a clutter bug or know someone who is?

Clutter….What clutter?!

Ok I’ll give some examples:

• The clothes we keep in the wardrobe that we bought years ago. Now chances are we’d need the Atkins diet or total starvation to squeeze into them but every time we meet them hanging forlornly from their hanger, we swish them to the side with a longing stare and renewed determination (that lasts exactly one minute!) that we WILL get into them soon!

• The shoes we’ve hardly worn because they pinch our toes and give us callouses but even though they cause us pain we can’t bear to give them away.  In the back of our deluded minds our feet are going to shrink or for some miraculous reason the shoes will magically get bigger!

• The magazines we’ve stockpiled on a designated table or under the bed because we know we’re going to need to read that article or buy the lotion, or remember we’re going to look just like +Beyoncé one day.

• The books we can’t bear to part with even though dust is the only thing that touches them anymore!

• The plastic Chinese or Indian takeaway containers that outnumber your regular crockery and have laid siege in the cupboard and tumble out every time you open the door because they will come in handy one day, one year, one decade!

• The plastic shopping bags…Oh we must keep them!  After all we have to do our bit for the planet and conserve the good ones (that we’ll never remember to use again).  We will of course happily dash the ones that have ruptured and strewn our food all over the ground and smashed our favourite bottle of wine which we were salivating to open as soon as we had the excuse of dinner, or a treat for having endured the day!  

• The underwear that we’ve over worn in particular the faithful pair of Bridget Jones baggies essential for the time of the month when we’ve grown three sizes. 

• The Calvin Klein Y fronts that now would only look great on David Beckham. 

• The socks…you know the long and short one you’re forced to pair because you just can’t find the twin.  The black one with the navy one that we hope no one will notice.  The single one that’s just too different to be paired with any other one so has to join the other ten single ones, we hope we’ll reunite one day. 

• Lastly the bras.  Oh the bras….the ones that are too small (but we will lose weight and get our massive mammary glands into them one day).  The too big ones that we keep just in case we’ve succumbed to the Chinese and Indian takeaway too often or the oven is getting ready for some buns, or the augmentation worked a treat!

Tip of the iceberg or the exaggeration of  a woman who likes to write blogs?

See what you think.   

Take a look around the room you’re sitting or lying in right this minute.  See any clutter?  Things you won’t use, don’t use, can’t use!  Chances are you’ll find something, even if it’s hiding in a drawer or cupboard.     

Why am I so confident?    

The answer’s simple…

Many of us accumulate and it takes conscious effort to get rid of things we hope we’ll use at some time or the other.  Truth is chances are high, we just won’t and here comes the important part:

If we’ve cluttered our space with things we don’t need, we won’t have space for the things we do!

Want to create space?

LB   xxx

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Book writing

 

TIPS ON HOW TO START WRITING A FICTIONAL STORY

Ok,

You have a great idea and you want to share it with the world, where do you begin?

1.    Do you want to write free hand on a pad?

PROS: You can write anywhere.

CONS:  You have to transcribe your work in typed form.

2.    Do you want to use a word document on a computer?

PROS:  You can see your document in typed form.  You can edit, spellcheck, delete etc.

CONS:  You could be encumbered if your typing skills aren’t good.

3.    Do you want to dictate into a Dictaphone?

PROS:  You can talk your own thoughts without interrupting your flow.

CONS:  You still have to go back to the typing/editing stage.

Once you’ve decided on how you’ll record your story the next step is brainstorming (your own brain).  To do this, identify words or sentences that will remind you of salient points you might want to use.  At this stage don’t worry about grammar/spelling and don’t worry if you never use anything from your list because one thing’s guaranteed, your story will evolve and change.  Go with the flow and allow your ideas to come without your interference. 

What’s the title of your book?

Think of your book as a sandwich.  You have two slices of bread and the filler in the middle.

1.     The top slice is the introduction of main characters and plots.  This is where you spread the butter (as thickly as you can) because from here the filler will sit comfortably.

2.     The filler is the main focus of the story. (What’s the point of the book) 

3.     The bottom slice is the conclusion (How the story ends-what happens to the main characters etc.)

Now the above is a simplification of a basic structure because within each category new characters/settings/plots might emerge and you’ll discover that as the story develops.  You might also find that the beginning, middle and end merge a bit but that doesn’t really matter provided the key elements are in place.

Here’s a rough idea of how to begin to develop your story. (Remember at this stage jot down words or notes to prompt you later).  Enjoy allowing your imagination to run free, you can gather it all together later.

Names of primary characters. 

What they look like, their ages, ethnicity, temperament etc.

What will be the initial setting for our story?

Words to describe the setting

How will you introduce the first plot/issue/leader for the main story?

What will the main part be about?

Other characters and any other sub plots/issues etc.

Describe roughly

What’s the ending going to be like?

Sad, triumphant, cliff hanger etc.?

What will the ending be about?

This preliminary stage to writing your story should help you to identify your enthusiasm for the project and you might want to start writing your story straight away.  If you do, go for it!  If you don’t let time be your friend.

My final tips are:

DO NOT EXPECT PERFECTION because you’re bound to be disappointed. 

ENJOY the wonders of your imagination.  If you don’t who will? 

BELIEVE you can create a wonderful story, and you will no matter how long it takes. 

ASSUME your readers will be aliens and won’t know anything you’re talking about so describe, describe, describe.  Unless of course you don’t want to!

I wish you luck.

LB xxx

www.lbbacchus.com 

MEN ON PAUSE!

 

TAKING THE CRISIS OUT OF MIDLIFE!

The inevitable MIDLIFE stage?!   

What’s that you might ask if you're not there, or you're male or you're in D E N I A L?   

For those who fit the latter, I refer to the stage where (unless the surgeon or the needle has intervened) gravity heralds its triumphant victory and nature takes its unforgiving course.

The stage I refer to is heralded as follows:

·      The why can’t I squeeze into those jeans like I used to! 
·      The where did that enormous marshmallow tummy come 
       from! 
·      The yikes whose cellulite thighs are those! 

·      The ok I’m not overweight so whose loose skin is that!
·      The why isn’t that expensive shampoo making my hair shine 
        like a mirror!
·      The whilst we’re on the hair stage… where’s my hair, stage!
·      The why’s my skin looking like it’s covered in dandruff no matter how much moisturizer I’m
       slapping on at night!
·      The why are my nails getting ridges and not growing long!
·      Who turned up the sun!
·      The how many times am I going to wake up bathing in my own sweat!

Now as if that wasn’t enough, Ms Gravity shifts to the side to allow the entrance of Ms Mood.

Now if you’ve never met Ms Mood, I’ll share how she can be identified:

·      She comes at any time, day or night and never asks to be invited.
·      She often outstays her welcome but we can rarely tell her to get lost ‘cos she just won’t listen!
·      She likes to snap and will always share how wretched she feels even if it’s for a short time.  It
       seems to make her feel better somehow.
·      She’ll never explain anything logically because Ms Mood is in a mood so logic has crawled 
       under the floorboards to get away from her.
·      She has a radar that’s on constant alert for something that’s not right and she will with   
       complete certainty find it!

Ms Mood goes out from time to time and it’s at that point that Ms Emotional comes to keep you company.   You can spot Ms Emotional very quickly.

·      She starts crying whenever she can, as hard as she can and for whatever reason she can.
·      She constantly wants attention, hugs, kisses, bunches of roses, chocolates, diamonds, sports cars, 
       yachts….oh sorry I was running away with myself.
·      She creates wonderful, elaborate stories about things that have hurt and upset her even if it goes 
       back as far as when she was two.
·      She has a red face or a ‘please don’t speak to me face’ particularly when she’s with the public 
       because she’s super sensitive and on guard
·      Ms Sensitive will laugh because her guard’s down which of course means she’ll start   
       blubbering again ‘cos her guard’s down and something’s bound to upset her.
  

Ms Mood and Ms Sensitive are visitors and because they’re visitors they do leave.  Unfortunately Ms Gravity ‘aint going nowhere but she’s been tagging along for a while so you get used to her.

Now one curious thing’s come to me and that’s the name: MENOPAUSE…interesting…MEN-O-PAUSE…and it suddenly struck me that that’s what happens to so many of us.  Men are put on pause. 

MEN-O(N)-PAUSE.

We metaphorically click the switch in our head that represents: 

Don’t you DARE come anywhere near me ‘cos I’m crabby, sweaty and I want to thump Ms Gravity on her head and if you come within three feet of me, I’m gonna land you one and then I’ll invite Ms Sensitive and Ms Mood to move in permanently!

Men….you’ve been warned!

Young female…Welcome to your future.  LOL!

MID LIFE WOMEN...SMILE...It will pass!

LB xxx

www.lbbacchus.com 

Is gun control enough?

Hello,

Before I start, I can’t stress adequately in words my complete compassion for the families that are now enduring the absolute horror of losing their loved ones in brutal, unexpected ways.  The horror at the deaths of the children and adults killed in America and around the world all the more compounded by the recent Christmas celebrations which should have been a time where we reacquaint ourselves with the innocence of birth and the beauty of the lives we’ve been blessed with. 

The unimaginable pain and loss now etched indelibly on the minds of those at the heart of this and the many other tragedies around our world can never be underestimated particularly as the bereft must surely have endured such torment and pain during what should have been a joyous occasion. 

Many of us are now in a spin, confused, angry and devastated as the world empathises with this pain.  Who wouldn’t be when confronted with the senselessness of taking lives needlessly in such horrific ways?  People are killing each other and we’re confused and shocked but is it now again time to take stock and ask why.  Is it just the 'crazy' people who're responsible?   

Now I know the majority of us don't go around toting a gun, raping or purposely hurting people but many of us are (justifiably so) scared about the world we live in and frightened by all the things happening outside of our control.  From this standpoint many of us stand in judgement of the crazies and dysfunctional people in the world as we’re reminded even more that we’re powerless to prevent the atrocities that invade our lives. 

So what can we do?

Give in and accept what so many of us detest?

or

Try to shift our understanding of what might be happening?

Now I’m aware there are no simple answers that will satisfy us all, but are we however all simply being asked to recognise the dysfunction and pain that is prevalent in the lives of so many in our world who then make choices to harm others?

Many of us think the atrocities are ‘out there’ and we're just affected by the awful news, which we're not responsible for because we haven't done anything.  Whilst the majority of us aren’t directly responsible and most of us wouldn’t dream of harming others, are these atrocities asking us to remember and consider:

We live in One world?

We breathe One air?

We come from One source? 

If the former is agreed with, it must surely suggest that what affects any one of us....HAS to affect every one of us!

Whilst we may detest the actions of those who kill and harm others and hate them for what they're doing, we still end up with the question why?

My suggested answer may seem simplistic but here it is:

Could it be because as One collective human kind we are being called upon to look honestly and without bias at the root causes of Our problems remembering compassion and understanding for all?

 If you think NO, I'd ask:

Has lack of compassion, understanding, retaliation, increased fear and separation worked so far?  Let’s face it, if it had would things not be getting better instead of worse?

These tragedies come (whether we like it or not) to make us all to wake up, face the truth and work harder to send compassion most importantly to the victims (and those directly connected to them) but also to the many who are abusing, harming and causing havoc in our world. 

Whilst this might be the very last thing we want to do because we're angry and we're not in a position to influence direct change what can we do?

We can send send healing through our thoughts and our belief that they CAN be healed, that our World CAN be a glorious place of love and beauty.  It also starts in the heart of our own lives and the people connected to us.

Again, I acknowledge this may seem too simple and ineffective particularly if we don't recognize the power in our thoughts but if we don't try to do what we can, this will not stop.  We'll continue to witness carnage and destruction and it WILL get worse.  It's the choice of each of us to do, or not do our bit regardless of how crazy my suggestion might seem.

Want to share your thoughts? 


LB  xxx

www.lbbacchus.com