Words are Powerful

Hi,

Even though it happened nearly two months ago, news about the two Australian DJ’s whose prank call to the London Hospital where Kate Middleton was admitted, continues to hit the headlines.  The news now, that their radio show has been axed but they get to keep their jobs.

There appears to be moral indignation and disgust in some camps as to the culpability of these two people.   Whilst we ought not to underestimate the sad news that has suggested the nurse who took the call committed suicide as a result of a prank by the two DJ’s, the chance that this is the only reason, is possibly slim.  I surmise that to take one’s life is the last, desperate action of someone who has quite simply had enough.  To have had enough…would suggest that other challenges and difficulty may have been present and the person could take no more.

Now this is probably the last thing anyone directly involved in this tragic situation might want to hear but I suggest that the two DJ’s in question could gain some comfort from the knowledge that their prank and their use of words to distort the truth has served us all. 

If we care to think about it, many of us hand on heart have used words carelessly, hurtfully and also to distort the truth even if it’s the white lie we so often excuse ourselves for.  It appears clear that the DJ’s didn’t intend the reaction and consequence of their words, but that is as it is...There is a consequence for what we say and do.  This consequence affects every man and woman living on this planet whether the consequence is good, bad or indifferent. 

These incidents and use of words affect us all.

Most of us have been given the gift of speech to project our feelings and thoughts through the words we use to convey the latter.   We’re given different ways to project these words, the most common: 

Written and Spoken.

Now if we took a moment, we would understand the power of this.  

Words + written or oral projection = POWERFUL PROJECTED WORDS

My condolences go to the family of the nurse who must still be grieving and the DJ’s who will probably live with their mistake for a very long time.  For me, I give my thanks that I’ve been given the opportunity to remember to think carefully and project my words wisely but like the DJ’s the only snag is I’m a flawed human, but I’ll try!

Please read my blog: SUICIDE for my perspective on suicide.

LB xxx

www.lbbacchus.com 

Up in SMOKE!

 

Now this blog isn’t intended to be a lecture on the why you shouldn’t smoke…the illnesses smoking causes….the cost and the other host of reasons that bombard us, because like me, if you were or are a smoker, it just doesn’t help!  With the best intentions (and we make those frequently) put a drink in your hand at the local pub, meet up with friends, go on holiday and chill with your sangria or other favourite tipple, the best intentions fly out of the window like a gust of wind. 

Smoking = Chill out. 

Smoking = Time out…even if that time out has to be spent huddled in a corner of a dingy building or on the pavement freezing your nether regions off outside the night club or on the garden patio under a hoody trying to keep out of the rain. 

Smoking = The treat when things go right. 

Smoking = The comforter when things go wrong. 

Smoking is the cigarette buddy that keeps you company even if no-one's there.

Smoking is the alternative to that cream cake, so you can continue to fit into your jeans.

When you try to give up it’s just isn’t as easy as they say!

Chill out.  Me time.  Comforter. Weight Watcher.

These are powerful things that magnetise us to the cigarette buddy.  Without it what will you do with your hands?  What will you do when you’re standing outside the club watching your mates dragging on their cigarette buddy?  What would you do when you have that drink that reminds you your cigarette buddy isn’t there anymore?  What would you do when your other half has ticked you off , or your boss has sacked you or…or….or….?

Where will you get the WILL POWER that’s needed to say NO when your mate’s wafting a fag under your nose?

When you try to give up it’s just isn’t as easy as they say!

I was a smoker.  I smoked on average twenty cigarettes a day.  I haven’t smoked for 22 years.  I stress 22 years!! Now that might seem like a statement that I’m over the hill (and I am) or it could be taken that if I can do it (give up smoking) and keep to it for so long it MUST mean YOU CAN because one thing’s for sure I don’t have an exclusive brand of will power.  I have the same amount as you.  I just decided to USE IT.

I loved smoking BUT I decided that my children needed a mother and if I was diagnosed with an illness I’d brought on myself the torment of the illness let alone the illness itself would be unbearable.  

Now as statistics show children who have parents who smoke are highly likely to smoke themselves this fact shouldn’t be ignored.  I proved the statistic right as I’ve watched my children all become smokers and the story starts again….

BUT

My daughter now doesn’t smoke AT ALL after many, many attempts to kick the habit.  Whilst I make no personal claim for its success, she managed to become a non smoker by using Ciggys electronic cigarettes which I was told is an electronic vapour cigarette without the harmful chemicals of normal cigarettes.   I’ve got to say that watching my daughter puffing on her electronic cigarette in the house and on the plane and in the restaurant shocked me but she wanted to stop smoking and this was her method. 

She stopped buying real cigarettes and in less than a year she had kicked her habit completely - No more cigarettes real or fake!  Am I saying this is the way to do it?  The answer’s NO.  I gave up naturally using my choice and will power.  My daughter gave up using an electronic cigarette.  She's given me their website. http://www.ciggyselectroniccigarettes.co.uk/

One thing’s for sure, in my personal experience both ways have clearly worked.  Finally, one thing a cigarette smoker should remember:

Cigarettes can take you away (prematurely) from the people you love and who love you!

LB xxx

 www.lbbacchus.com

What does success and failure mean to you?

What’s good about our technological world is that it connects us almost instantly and with relative ease to find inspiration and words of wisdom that can motivate us and give us the courage to keep going when times challenge us. 

Inbred in our human DNA is the instinct to survive.  In a world that's now highly competitive and stressful many of us need all the help we can get to keep going, to maintain positivity when the odds seem stacked against us.  We need to be reminded of our need to make renewed affirmations that we will succeed.  We will climb that mountain.  We will win the race.  We will be noticed, noted, recognised, emulated, adored.  We’ll live in the lap of luxury or if our aims aren’t so grand we’ll be able to pay those pesky bills (easily) and have some left over for the little luxuries we can afford.

What many of us don’t realise however is before we can succeed we have to determine our relationship with success.  By this I mean, do we really feel worthy of it?  Now that might seem like the strangest thing to ask when we’re hyping and punching the air with our positive “let’s go conquer the world statements”, but deep down some of us are scared. 

Now I realise this is relative and not in the true essence of the word and its meaning, but for the sake of this blog I refer to worldly success.  Worldly success shines a spotlight on us.  The spotlight makes us visible to ourselves and everyone connected to us (directly or indirectly).  Worldly success requires maintenance and this means constant focus and attention on the maintaining of our success.  Then comes the wretched anti.  The anti success which we all know as FAILURE.

Now failure is something many of us get.  We get it, because it often lurks in the shadows and depending on how good we get at affirming our positive success mantras and rejecting any possibility of failure its shadow can pounce if our mood is low or we’ve encountered the last straw, the rejection, the frustration, the brick wall!

We’re told don’t think of failure only success…success…success.  Failure must be rejected and abhorred because to even consider it would mean torment and pain; a worthless, unfulfilled life where we're subjected to watch only the few who shine brightly under the spotlight of worldly success.  The failures scrabble about in the darkness as they search relentlessly for that elusive light!  What we don't realise is that when we become so scared of failing, with the greatest will in the world we'll find ourselves drawn back to the wretched thought of it or exhausted by having to pretend it's not there.  

So what can we do?  

How's about looking at what we perceive to be failure, acknowledge that if it comes we're being given a new opportunity to diversify or explore another route, grab the opportunity that our perceived failure brings.

Do you want success?

All you have to do is:

Recognise that failure is the flip side of the success coin.

Recognise that success is relative to you and you alone and should not be dictated by others who often have their own game plan.

Recognise that you can shine under your spotlight of success if you have tried and done your best.

ACKNOWLEDGE that success as a human being is determined by the love you have for yourself and the love you share with others.

Here's to SUCCESS!

LB  xxx 

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www.lbbacchus.com

If you want it create the space for it!

 

Are you a clutter bug or know someone who is?

Clutter….What clutter?!

Ok I’ll give some examples:

• The clothes we keep in the wardrobe that we bought years ago. Now chances are we’d need the Atkins diet or total starvation to squeeze into them but every time we meet them hanging forlornly from their hanger, we swish them to the side with a longing stare and renewed determination (that lasts exactly one minute!) that we WILL get into them soon!

• The shoes we’ve hardly worn because they pinch our toes and give us callouses but even though they cause us pain we can’t bear to give them away.  In the back of our deluded minds our feet are going to shrink or for some miraculous reason the shoes will magically get bigger!

• The magazines we’ve stockpiled on a designated table or under the bed because we know we’re going to need to read that article or buy the lotion, or remember we’re going to look just like +Beyoncé one day.

• The books we can’t bear to part with even though dust is the only thing that touches them anymore!

• The plastic Chinese or Indian takeaway containers that outnumber your regular crockery and have laid siege in the cupboard and tumble out every time you open the door because they will come in handy one day, one year, one decade!

• The plastic shopping bags…Oh we must keep them!  After all we have to do our bit for the planet and conserve the good ones (that we’ll never remember to use again).  We will of course happily dash the ones that have ruptured and strewn our food all over the ground and smashed our favourite bottle of wine which we were salivating to open as soon as we had the excuse of dinner, or a treat for having endured the day!  

• The underwear that we’ve over worn in particular the faithful pair of Bridget Jones baggies essential for the time of the month when we’ve grown three sizes. 

• The Calvin Klein Y fronts that now would only look great on David Beckham. 

• The socks…you know the long and short one you’re forced to pair because you just can’t find the twin.  The black one with the navy one that we hope no one will notice.  The single one that’s just too different to be paired with any other one so has to join the other ten single ones, we hope we’ll reunite one day. 

• Lastly the bras.  Oh the bras….the ones that are too small (but we will lose weight and get our massive mammary glands into them one day).  The too big ones that we keep just in case we’ve succumbed to the Chinese and Indian takeaway too often or the oven is getting ready for some buns, or the augmentation worked a treat!

Tip of the iceberg or the exaggeration of  a woman who likes to write blogs?

See what you think.   

Take a look around the room you’re sitting or lying in right this minute.  See any clutter?  Things you won’t use, don’t use, can’t use!  Chances are you’ll find something, even if it’s hiding in a drawer or cupboard.     

Why am I so confident?    

The answer’s simple…

Many of us accumulate and it takes conscious effort to get rid of things we hope we’ll use at some time or the other.  Truth is chances are high, we just won’t and here comes the important part:

If we’ve cluttered our space with things we don’t need, we won’t have space for the things we do!

Want to create space?

LB   xxx

https://www.facebook.com/lbbacchus1?ref=hl

www.lbbacchus.com

Book writing

 

TIPS ON HOW TO START WRITING A FICTIONAL STORY

Ok,

You have a great idea and you want to share it with the world, where do you begin?

1.    Do you want to write free hand on a pad?

PROS: You can write anywhere.

CONS:  You have to transcribe your work in typed form.

2.    Do you want to use a word document on a computer?

PROS:  You can see your document in typed form.  You can edit, spellcheck, delete etc.

CONS:  You could be encumbered if your typing skills aren’t good.

3.    Do you want to dictate into a Dictaphone?

PROS:  You can talk your own thoughts without interrupting your flow.

CONS:  You still have to go back to the typing/editing stage.

Once you’ve decided on how you’ll record your story the next step is brainstorming (your own brain).  To do this, identify words or sentences that will remind you of salient points you might want to use.  At this stage don’t worry about grammar/spelling and don’t worry if you never use anything from your list because one thing’s guaranteed, your story will evolve and change.  Go with the flow and allow your ideas to come without your interference. 

What’s the title of your book?

Think of your book as a sandwich.  You have two slices of bread and the filler in the middle.

1.     The top slice is the introduction of main characters and plots.  This is where you spread the butter (as thickly as you can) because from here the filler will sit comfortably.

2.     The filler is the main focus of the story. (What’s the point of the book) 

3.     The bottom slice is the conclusion (How the story ends-what happens to the main characters etc.)

Now the above is a simplification of a basic structure because within each category new characters/settings/plots might emerge and you’ll discover that as the story develops.  You might also find that the beginning, middle and end merge a bit but that doesn’t really matter provided the key elements are in place.

Here’s a rough idea of how to begin to develop your story. (Remember at this stage jot down words or notes to prompt you later).  Enjoy allowing your imagination to run free, you can gather it all together later.

Names of primary characters. 

What they look like, their ages, ethnicity, temperament etc.

What will be the initial setting for our story?

Words to describe the setting

How will you introduce the first plot/issue/leader for the main story?

What will the main part be about?

Other characters and any other sub plots/issues etc.

Describe roughly

What’s the ending going to be like?

Sad, triumphant, cliff hanger etc.?

What will the ending be about?

This preliminary stage to writing your story should help you to identify your enthusiasm for the project and you might want to start writing your story straight away.  If you do, go for it!  If you don’t let time be your friend.

My final tips are:

DO NOT EXPECT PERFECTION because you’re bound to be disappointed. 

ENJOY the wonders of your imagination.  If you don’t who will? 

BELIEVE you can create a wonderful story, and you will no matter how long it takes. 

ASSUME your readers will be aliens and won’t know anything you’re talking about so describe, describe, describe.  Unless of course you don’t want to!

I wish you luck.

LB xxx

www.lbbacchus.com 

MEN ON PAUSE!

 

TAKING THE CRISIS OUT OF MIDLIFE!

The inevitable MIDLIFE stage?!   

What’s that you might ask if you're not there, or you're male or you're in D E N I A L?   

For those who fit the latter, I refer to the stage where (unless the surgeon or the needle has intervened) gravity heralds its triumphant victory and nature takes its unforgiving course.

The stage I refer to is heralded as follows:

·      The why can’t I squeeze into those jeans like I used to! 
·      The where did that enormous marshmallow tummy come 
       from! 
·      The yikes whose cellulite thighs are those! 

·      The ok I’m not overweight so whose loose skin is that!
·      The why isn’t that expensive shampoo making my hair shine 
        like a mirror!
·      The whilst we’re on the hair stage… where’s my hair, stage!
·      The why’s my skin looking like it’s covered in dandruff no matter how much moisturizer I’m
       slapping on at night!
·      The why are my nails getting ridges and not growing long!
·      Who turned up the sun!
·      The how many times am I going to wake up bathing in my own sweat!

Now as if that wasn’t enough, Ms Gravity shifts to the side to allow the entrance of Ms Mood.

Now if you’ve never met Ms Mood, I’ll share how she can be identified:

·      She comes at any time, day or night and never asks to be invited.
·      She often outstays her welcome but we can rarely tell her to get lost ‘cos she just won’t listen!
·      She likes to snap and will always share how wretched she feels even if it’s for a short time.  It
       seems to make her feel better somehow.
·      She’ll never explain anything logically because Ms Mood is in a mood so logic has crawled 
       under the floorboards to get away from her.
·      She has a radar that’s on constant alert for something that’s not right and she will with   
       complete certainty find it!

Ms Mood goes out from time to time and it’s at that point that Ms Emotional comes to keep you company.   You can spot Ms Emotional very quickly.

·      She starts crying whenever she can, as hard as she can and for whatever reason she can.
·      She constantly wants attention, hugs, kisses, bunches of roses, chocolates, diamonds, sports cars, 
       yachts….oh sorry I was running away with myself.
·      She creates wonderful, elaborate stories about things that have hurt and upset her even if it goes 
       back as far as when she was two.
·      She has a red face or a ‘please don’t speak to me face’ particularly when she’s with the public 
       because she’s super sensitive and on guard
·      Ms Sensitive will laugh because her guard’s down which of course means she’ll start   
       blubbering again ‘cos her guard’s down and something’s bound to upset her.
  

Ms Mood and Ms Sensitive are visitors and because they’re visitors they do leave.  Unfortunately Ms Gravity ‘aint going nowhere but she’s been tagging along for a while so you get used to her.

Now one curious thing’s come to me and that’s the name: MENOPAUSE…interesting…MEN-O-PAUSE…and it suddenly struck me that that’s what happens to so many of us.  Men are put on pause. 

MEN-O(N)-PAUSE.

We metaphorically click the switch in our head that represents: 

Don’t you DARE come anywhere near me ‘cos I’m crabby, sweaty and I want to thump Ms Gravity on her head and if you come within three feet of me, I’m gonna land you one and then I’ll invite Ms Sensitive and Ms Mood to move in permanently!

Men….you’ve been warned!

Young female…Welcome to your future.  LOL!

MID LIFE WOMEN...SMILE...It will pass!

LB xxx

www.lbbacchus.com